One day of consulting work by hubby and my payout for a month of photos sold (6 or 7, from memory) brings our bank account into the black for the briefest of moments. What a rush! lol
Living by faith is not for the fainthearted or the faithless. But however much (or little) faith you start the process with, you find plenty of opportunities to increase upon it. :) It most certainly is not something you can do without God...and quite honestly, who would want to?
Then again, why would you want to live life without Him? At the end of your earthly days, what will your life equate to?
Maybe some money in the bank that you can't do anything with...possessions to be dished out amongst relatives...a career or a job that allowed you to survive - with some pleasures if you're lucky. Maybe you're a philanthropist who helps people and makes a difference, but did you lead them to an eternal life and teach them how to earn treasures in heaven?
This whole process of living by faith is teaching me many things. One of the greatest lessons is how to live toward the eternal rather than for my short days on this earth. Having a view toward my heavenly life actually increases the importance of how I live today. I am learning to make God the glory of my days - it's not about me, or what I can achieve. It's about what God can achieve through me for His kingdom, which also brings the greatest satisfaction and happiness. God plants within us the desires of our heart, so when we follow that, God's plans move forward and we enjoy the rewards of obedience - love, joy, and peace. Doesn't that sound like a much nicer life than doing a job for the best years of your life to obtain things that don't last?
Wednesday, March 31, 2010
Monday, March 29, 2010
A Physical Cost
There are many Biblical examples of suffering for Christ. Stephen and Paul are 2 obvious ones. Persecution is a well-known suffering, both Biblically and experientially for many around the world.
Here in New Zealand we count ourselves as fairly safe. We have the freedom to worship as we choose. Persecution for me was teasing throughout my school years. How much worse is suffered in Christ's name in countries where it is a crime to say His name.
So yeah, we feel comfortable in our faith. Then - wham! - along comes a suffering that one does not expect. Hubby was doing his helping hands thing yesterday, clearing out the guttering of an elderly lady's house down the street. Unfortunately gravity proved too powerful a force this time and he fell from the roof to the ground, breaking some of the guttering on the way down.
A lump on his head where he hit the concrete, a black eye, abrasions down his left arm and on his chest, and the worst injury, a wrist that we pray is only a muscle strain. Swollen, painful and being treated fervently with R.I.C.E. (rest, ice, compression, and elevation) and doses of a wonderful healing balm called Pedimol.
I mention all this as a testament to my lovely husband because of his comment after the accident. As near as I can remember - "I would rather be doing God's will and suffer through this than do anything else in the world."
Oh, before he tended to himself he repaired the guttering with supplies we happened to have in our garage! The bushes, though, will have to be repaired by the Master Creator Himself.
Here in New Zealand we count ourselves as fairly safe. We have the freedom to worship as we choose. Persecution for me was teasing throughout my school years. How much worse is suffered in Christ's name in countries where it is a crime to say His name.
So yeah, we feel comfortable in our faith. Then - wham! - along comes a suffering that one does not expect. Hubby was doing his helping hands thing yesterday, clearing out the guttering of an elderly lady's house down the street. Unfortunately gravity proved too powerful a force this time and he fell from the roof to the ground, breaking some of the guttering on the way down.
A lump on his head where he hit the concrete, a black eye, abrasions down his left arm and on his chest, and the worst injury, a wrist that we pray is only a muscle strain. Swollen, painful and being treated fervently with R.I.C.E. (rest, ice, compression, and elevation) and doses of a wonderful healing balm called Pedimol.
I mention all this as a testament to my lovely husband because of his comment after the accident. As near as I can remember - "I would rather be doing God's will and suffer through this than do anything else in the world."
Oh, before he tended to himself he repaired the guttering with supplies we happened to have in our garage! The bushes, though, will have to be repaired by the Master Creator Himself.
Learning to wait
Life is certainly interesting. One can be bored, but overall, the journey of life equals more than one period, or several periods, of boredom. That's not to say I am bored, just tired of waiting. Waiting...waiting...waiting. Actually that's not quite true either. I WAS tired of waiting. Now I am waiting with expectancy, having learned to be content with God's timing.
Waiting for a miracle while living frugally has its challenges. Some of those challenges I have even enjoyed - at times - other times not so much. I have learned to make things to satisfy cravings without normally essential ingredients. Alison Holst's Crazy Cake (choc cake with no eggs, butter, or milk) is wonderful!
We've been out of dog food for a couple of weeks, and cat food almost a week. We ran out of milk last week sometime and have been using milk powder, but that too is now off limits as I have to reserve a portion so at least I can continue making bread in the breadmaker. Then, lo and behold, the Lord provided yesterday - enough money to buy pet food, milk, and PRAISE THE LORD deoderant for hubby! ;) Triple YAYYYYYYY!
We have come to the delightful position of being happy to wait on God, or at least content. We know He will not let us down. We are fully resolved to lose everything for Him, if that is His desire. Possibly a very costly resolution. That could mean our house, our possessions, our community standing - everything!!! This is serious business. But we are even more serious about doing God's will. All those things are fleeting, but the grace of the Lord is sufficient. His mercies are new every morning. His promises are guaranteed. His love and compassion is perfect and everlasting.
Sometimes it feels like we're standing on a very slippery slope into complete ruin. Thankfully those feelings are less and less as we have learned (and are still learning) to rest in God and let Him carry our burdens. The peace that passes all understanding is aptly described. I cannot convey, even in ten thousand pages of rhetoric, the peace He provides to the person who gives God permission to reign in every area of their life.
I worship my Heavenly Father for the place He has brought me to. Each day I can come to Him in thanksgiving and praise, not because the external circumstances are any different to yesterday's, but because He has given me an assurance of faith, hope, and love.
I want every single person to know what it is to truly meet with God. The desire to teach people how to connect in such a meaningful, personal way is very strong. There is simply no better way to live.
Here is a practical example of God's faithfulness.
3 weeks ago I had meat enough to feed the 3 adults in the house for 3 weeks. Today, having used some of that meat to feed the dog and 3 cats, I still have enough meat left to feed 3 adults for 2 more weeks. We have not bought any because we have no money. We have not been given any meat for our use (only the stuff we got for Wag). Out of those three weeks only two meals were vegetarian, and we fasted for one. There is a tendency, I think, to expect fireworks and sirens accompanying miracles. How many times do we experience a miraculous intervention and fail to see it?
Waiting for a miracle while living frugally has its challenges. Some of those challenges I have even enjoyed - at times - other times not so much. I have learned to make things to satisfy cravings without normally essential ingredients. Alison Holst's Crazy Cake (choc cake with no eggs, butter, or milk) is wonderful!
We've been out of dog food for a couple of weeks, and cat food almost a week. We ran out of milk last week sometime and have been using milk powder, but that too is now off limits as I have to reserve a portion so at least I can continue making bread in the breadmaker. Then, lo and behold, the Lord provided yesterday - enough money to buy pet food, milk, and PRAISE THE LORD deoderant for hubby! ;) Triple YAYYYYYYY!
We have come to the delightful position of being happy to wait on God, or at least content. We know He will not let us down. We are fully resolved to lose everything for Him, if that is His desire. Possibly a very costly resolution. That could mean our house, our possessions, our community standing - everything!!! This is serious business. But we are even more serious about doing God's will. All those things are fleeting, but the grace of the Lord is sufficient. His mercies are new every morning. His promises are guaranteed. His love and compassion is perfect and everlasting.
Sometimes it feels like we're standing on a very slippery slope into complete ruin. Thankfully those feelings are less and less as we have learned (and are still learning) to rest in God and let Him carry our burdens. The peace that passes all understanding is aptly described. I cannot convey, even in ten thousand pages of rhetoric, the peace He provides to the person who gives God permission to reign in every area of their life.
I worship my Heavenly Father for the place He has brought me to. Each day I can come to Him in thanksgiving and praise, not because the external circumstances are any different to yesterday's, but because He has given me an assurance of faith, hope, and love.
I want every single person to know what it is to truly meet with God. The desire to teach people how to connect in such a meaningful, personal way is very strong. There is simply no better way to live.
Here is a practical example of God's faithfulness.
3 weeks ago I had meat enough to feed the 3 adults in the house for 3 weeks. Today, having used some of that meat to feed the dog and 3 cats, I still have enough meat left to feed 3 adults for 2 more weeks. We have not bought any because we have no money. We have not been given any meat for our use (only the stuff we got for Wag). Out of those three weeks only two meals were vegetarian, and we fasted for one. There is a tendency, I think, to expect fireworks and sirens accompanying miracles. How many times do we experience a miraculous intervention and fail to see it?
Wednesday, March 24, 2010
Holy Rollercoasters
I knew that things would not be simple. It would have been naive to believe so. However, one can never be quite prepared for reality until they are facing it down the centreline with a pit of angry alligators on one side and a sheer cliff raining down rocks and dirt on the other.
We know we are going through a testing time. A time to test our faith - our belief and steadfastness to what we know as true - and a time of developing patience. Believe me, I feel more like a patient. A headcold, which has been bothering me for around 3 weeks and steadily getting worse, not better, does not help improve my sanity. Nor does interrupted and short on sleep due to a nose that is simultaneously blocked and running. Go figure!
A couple of days ago I was crying, tears and all, out to God. I told Him it was all too hard. There are easier ways to live one's life than waiting on God, but we are answering the call on our lives no matter what. Having spent a miserable day of fear and worry, tears and complete grumpiness, I became a little worried about whether I was being unfaithful (and knowing I was definitely unattractive to co-habitat with).
Here is where the beauty of the Lord lies. In my daily Bible reading this morning He revealed to me the difference between the way the Israelites acted after their exodus from Egypt and what I did. Their attitude was one of "contempt" (Numbers Ch 14). When things got rough they looked to false gods and idols (eg. the golden calf), or desired to return to captivity where they knew the rules. Crying out to God is the complete opposite. It turns to Him, not away. It asks Him to take over, not rejecting His love and His will.
In short - Trust God and believe His word, thus relying on Him. Or reject what we've already seen Him do and rely on man's efforts.
We continue to wait upon the Lord, doing our darnedest to stay sane, praising Him in all situations and believing for our future. We pray for a short wait, but however long it is, we're committed.
Another little piece of my reading this morning -
In this you greatly rejoice, though now for a little while you may have had to suffer grief in all kinds of trials. These have come so that your faith -- of greater worth than gold, which perishes even though refined by fire -- may be proved genuine and may result in praise, glory and honour when Jesus Christ is revealed.
1 Peter 1:6-7
We know we are going through a testing time. A time to test our faith - our belief and steadfastness to what we know as true - and a time of developing patience. Believe me, I feel more like a patient. A headcold, which has been bothering me for around 3 weeks and steadily getting worse, not better, does not help improve my sanity. Nor does interrupted and short on sleep due to a nose that is simultaneously blocked and running. Go figure!
A couple of days ago I was crying, tears and all, out to God. I told Him it was all too hard. There are easier ways to live one's life than waiting on God, but we are answering the call on our lives no matter what. Having spent a miserable day of fear and worry, tears and complete grumpiness, I became a little worried about whether I was being unfaithful (and knowing I was definitely unattractive to co-habitat with).
Here is where the beauty of the Lord lies. In my daily Bible reading this morning He revealed to me the difference between the way the Israelites acted after their exodus from Egypt and what I did. Their attitude was one of "contempt" (Numbers Ch 14). When things got rough they looked to false gods and idols (eg. the golden calf), or desired to return to captivity where they knew the rules. Crying out to God is the complete opposite. It turns to Him, not away. It asks Him to take over, not rejecting His love and His will.
In short - Trust God and believe His word, thus relying on Him. Or reject what we've already seen Him do and rely on man's efforts.
We continue to wait upon the Lord, doing our darnedest to stay sane, praising Him in all situations and believing for our future. We pray for a short wait, but however long it is, we're committed.
Another little piece of my reading this morning -
In this you greatly rejoice, though now for a little while you may have had to suffer grief in all kinds of trials. These have come so that your faith -- of greater worth than gold, which perishes even though refined by fire -- may be proved genuine and may result in praise, glory and honour when Jesus Christ is revealed.
1 Peter 1:6-7
Friday, March 19, 2010
Tough Times
I have deliberately been neglectful of this blog for the last few days, contending with my thoughts and how I want to express them - or rather, how the Lord would have me express them.
I am left with the uncomfortable truth that I must first profess the tough times in order for the answers I received to have meaning.
As I have mentioned before, our mortgage payments are now behind. Financial pressures are never fun, but try facing them when you have no money and EVERYTHING to lose. Everything, except God, that is. What we experienced for a day and a half was quite awful. That dread feeling of wondering what's going on, feeling out of control, and yet, somehow - knowing that it's all part of the process. The biggest question before us was whether or not to take out a mortgage repayment holiday for 3 months (trying to do it in our strength), or let our faith hold true to God's promise for His provision. The other option was to go out immediately into the world and get jobs.
Husband and I faced the fear together and proclaimed the promises of God over our lives and asking God's will. We read various passages in the Bible prompted by Him. The whole of Psalm 46, but particularly verse 5; Psalm 30:5; Philippians 3:7-9; and Ephesians 3:14-21. There was a strong message of a new morning, a new dawn, accompanied by visions. We still believed that a repayment holiday was not the way to go, but we NEEDED to know God's will. It would be so easy to make a wrong turn. That was Tuesday afternoon.
Wednesday morning was more peaceful, having been encouraged by the Spirit and supported in prayer and fellowship by a dear, sweet sister. After lunch on Wednesday we again spent time calling upon God to come through for us in this situation. We were prepared to go right then and get work if that was His plan. I said I would do whatever He wanted. So my Lord asked me to fast, and I willingly agreed to - for only the 2nd time in my life. So I announced it to my husband and friend who joined me in it. Thank you! :)
"Woohoo," I cried. "I get a night off from cooking. Now, that's one way to ration the food." LOL
I can only faintly give a sense of what happened on Wednesday afternoon as it was an experience totally in God and of God. From about 1.30pm to 8.30pm that night we prayed, praised with song and in tongues, we worshipped and adored Him. And He answered. The peace that passes all understanding returned in greater measure than ever before. He affirmed His promises of provision and reminded us that we had been provided for every day. Some days, as in my earlier posts, it has been food. Another day it was a $200 deposit into our bank account with the reference "Surprise" and $20 arriving through the post. God has truly blessed us.
During this time of fasting and worship, God granted my husband and I separate visions. He saw Jesus standing on a mountain top commanding angels to go take care of needs ... sending them this way and that according to the specific task each was given by Him. My vision was of Jesus standing on a cliff over the sea, and He was directing the white-crested waves much like Mickey Mouse does in The Sorceror's Apprentice. The two were definitely the same message. We completely understood God was in control of everything and was exercising His power at that very moment.
He clearly made known His will, and we are fully, 100%, awaiting His provision to meet every one of our needs. To God be the Glory!
We also understand that this time was necessary.
How easy is it to have faith when everything is going well?
What about faith when nothing is in your control and you have no choice but to leave it in God's hands? It's harder, but there is freedom and release in knowing there is no way for you to change things.
Now try having faith in a situation where you DO have the power to change circumstances and yet God is telling you not to. This has been our true test of faith.
The time is up to Him - we only know it will be the perfect time. We do know it's not far away now.
Keep watching this space...
I am left with the uncomfortable truth that I must first profess the tough times in order for the answers I received to have meaning.
As I have mentioned before, our mortgage payments are now behind. Financial pressures are never fun, but try facing them when you have no money and EVERYTHING to lose. Everything, except God, that is. What we experienced for a day and a half was quite awful. That dread feeling of wondering what's going on, feeling out of control, and yet, somehow - knowing that it's all part of the process. The biggest question before us was whether or not to take out a mortgage repayment holiday for 3 months (trying to do it in our strength), or let our faith hold true to God's promise for His provision. The other option was to go out immediately into the world and get jobs.
Husband and I faced the fear together and proclaimed the promises of God over our lives and asking God's will. We read various passages in the Bible prompted by Him. The whole of Psalm 46, but particularly verse 5; Psalm 30:5; Philippians 3:7-9; and Ephesians 3:14-21. There was a strong message of a new morning, a new dawn, accompanied by visions. We still believed that a repayment holiday was not the way to go, but we NEEDED to know God's will. It would be so easy to make a wrong turn. That was Tuesday afternoon.
Wednesday morning was more peaceful, having been encouraged by the Spirit and supported in prayer and fellowship by a dear, sweet sister. After lunch on Wednesday we again spent time calling upon God to come through for us in this situation. We were prepared to go right then and get work if that was His plan. I said I would do whatever He wanted. So my Lord asked me to fast, and I willingly agreed to - for only the 2nd time in my life. So I announced it to my husband and friend who joined me in it. Thank you! :)
"Woohoo," I cried. "I get a night off from cooking. Now, that's one way to ration the food." LOL
I can only faintly give a sense of what happened on Wednesday afternoon as it was an experience totally in God and of God. From about 1.30pm to 8.30pm that night we prayed, praised with song and in tongues, we worshipped and adored Him. And He answered. The peace that passes all understanding returned in greater measure than ever before. He affirmed His promises of provision and reminded us that we had been provided for every day. Some days, as in my earlier posts, it has been food. Another day it was a $200 deposit into our bank account with the reference "Surprise" and $20 arriving through the post. God has truly blessed us.
During this time of fasting and worship, God granted my husband and I separate visions. He saw Jesus standing on a mountain top commanding angels to go take care of needs ... sending them this way and that according to the specific task each was given by Him. My vision was of Jesus standing on a cliff over the sea, and He was directing the white-crested waves much like Mickey Mouse does in The Sorceror's Apprentice. The two were definitely the same message. We completely understood God was in control of everything and was exercising His power at that very moment.
He clearly made known His will, and we are fully, 100%, awaiting His provision to meet every one of our needs. To God be the Glory!
We also understand that this time was necessary.
How easy is it to have faith when everything is going well?
What about faith when nothing is in your control and you have no choice but to leave it in God's hands? It's harder, but there is freedom and release in knowing there is no way for you to change things.
Now try having faith in a situation where you DO have the power to change circumstances and yet God is telling you not to. This has been our true test of faith.
The time is up to Him - we only know it will be the perfect time. We do know it's not far away now.
Keep watching this space...
Monday, March 15, 2010
It's not all about food!
We were worried about food for Wag, although he does have an ample supply of cooking apples which supplement his diet all summer long - self-plucked with velvety lips (that is when there aren't enough on the ground) - but that sort of diet is not adequate for a dog in itself. The number of dog biscuits left equates to 0!
Shortly before 8pm last night the doorbell rang and a kind soul was delivering frozen legs of mutton; enough to feed our dog for about a week. I thought I had finished cooking for the day. haha. Hubby sawed one of the legs of mutton into 2 so it would fit in a pot and I boiled it up with some rice and pasta. This morning I pulled the meat off the bone and added it to the drained carbohydrates and leftover vegetables. Enough for 2.5 days for him, and another leg still to cook up. Isn't God wonderful - and his faithful servant who delivered the meat a real blessing? Ithink know so! Praise the LORD!!!
Today has been another day of services performed by my husband, clearing gutters and a bit of gardening. Some of the gardening has been at our own place and some at other people's. He usually faces the same questions. How much will it cost? How can you live? It is a real delight to be able answer "free!" or "nothing" to the first question, and "God will provide" to the second.
From one residence he returned with a rich harvest of garden goods. Our fridge and store cupboards are overflowing with fresh produce - beetroot, potatoes, onions, tomatoes, cucumber, lettuce (with hitchhiking protein, ick LOL), lemons and grapefruit. Added to the corn, potatoes, marrows, apple cucumbers, tomatoes, and carrots from the family who visited on Sunday, we are rich in healthy fare. How awesome! It is proving a challenge to my cookery skills, though. I've never been one for using many packet products, preferring to make my own. However when one has little or no protein to turn to, it requires more creativity. The days of preparing a meat dish and then adding vegetables are almost gone. Tonight I am aiming for our first 'vegetarian' meal.
Tomorrow I will settle myself to a task for The Wellspring that is my responsibility. A digital photography group for Amberley is on my radar. We have no money to advertise it, so like with the helping hands, I am starting with what we do have. I know 3 people who would enjoy this group, so that makes 4 of us to start - not bad beginnings. I've already talked to 2 of the people. The internet is going to make sharing of our pics and group challenges accessible and affordable, too.
As I contemplate the ending of the day - preparing dinner, and settling to my cross-stitch after - my mind turns readily to the many blessings I see in my life today. I am rich in love, faith, hope, and peace.
From my Bible reading this morning:
Shortly before 8pm last night the doorbell rang and a kind soul was delivering frozen legs of mutton; enough to feed our dog for about a week. I thought I had finished cooking for the day. haha. Hubby sawed one of the legs of mutton into 2 so it would fit in a pot and I boiled it up with some rice and pasta. This morning I pulled the meat off the bone and added it to the drained carbohydrates and leftover vegetables. Enough for 2.5 days for him, and another leg still to cook up. Isn't God wonderful - and his faithful servant who delivered the meat a real blessing? I
Today has been another day of services performed by my husband, clearing gutters and a bit of gardening. Some of the gardening has been at our own place and some at other people's. He usually faces the same questions. How much will it cost? How can you live? It is a real delight to be able answer "free!" or "nothing" to the first question, and "God will provide" to the second.
From one residence he returned with a rich harvest of garden goods. Our fridge and store cupboards are overflowing with fresh produce - beetroot, potatoes, onions, tomatoes, cucumber, lettuce (with hitchhiking protein, ick LOL), lemons and grapefruit. Added to the corn, potatoes, marrows, apple cucumbers, tomatoes, and carrots from the family who visited on Sunday, we are rich in healthy fare. How awesome! It is proving a challenge to my cookery skills, though. I've never been one for using many packet products, preferring to make my own. However when one has little or no protein to turn to, it requires more creativity. The days of preparing a meat dish and then adding vegetables are almost gone. Tonight I am aiming for our first 'vegetarian' meal.
Tomorrow I will settle myself to a task for The Wellspring that is my responsibility. A digital photography group for Amberley is on my radar. We have no money to advertise it, so like with the helping hands, I am starting with what we do have. I know 3 people who would enjoy this group, so that makes 4 of us to start - not bad beginnings. I've already talked to 2 of the people. The internet is going to make sharing of our pics and group challenges accessible and affordable, too.
As I contemplate the ending of the day - preparing dinner, and settling to my cross-stitch after - my mind turns readily to the many blessings I see in my life today. I am rich in love, faith, hope, and peace.
From my Bible reading this morning:
"But the eyes of the Lord are on those who fear him, on those whose hope is in his unfailing love, to deliver them from death, and keep them alive in famine." Psalm 33:18-19
Sunday, March 14, 2010
And so it starts...
Today was the first physical action seen toward our destiny, which is The Wellspring. We have planned long on paper, in our hearts, and in spiritual areas, but to act and thereby bring something into tangible realisation is a great step forward.
One of the facets of The Wellspring is a helping hands ministry. This is a free service. While the fullness of this aspect requires tools, vehicles and supplies, which God has promised to provide, we start with what we have. It may be little, but that's no reason not to do what we can with what we have.
So today, my husband went to some of the elderly in our community and performed maintenance for them - clearing guttering on houses. He worked long, hard hours. He came home dirty (and he has no deoderant left and we have no money to buy him any LOL) and feeling physically tired but spiritually alive. We have begun!
The hard part is trying to get across to people that what we are doing is free, but realising that sometimes God will provide what we need through these people. So from one house he came home with a bag of apples off her tree, and from the other, nothing. Both are equally welcomed.
While husband dearest was out I spent the day making things with our newly provided goods from the family that came yesterday. I made fruit bread, fudge cake, and muesli. That used up portions of the sugar, flour, eggs, and dried fruit they brought with them. I think I've about done my cooking dash for today, just the dinner left to do, which is rationed servings of fish and vegetables. I'm cooking extra veggies to give to Wag (the dog) tomorrow since we've now used the last of the dog biscuits. There was also the washing to do and I got some photos processed and uploaded to a stock photo site.
We have needs, particularly for the animals, but believe God to provide for them also. Tomorrow is a new day full of wonderful possibilities. As the night draws in, my mind turns to spending time with God. It seems a long time since this morning when I sat cradled in His hand. I think it is time to feel His arms around me again so He can continue keeping me strong and faithful.
One of the facets of The Wellspring is a helping hands ministry. This is a free service. While the fullness of this aspect requires tools, vehicles and supplies, which God has promised to provide, we start with what we have. It may be little, but that's no reason not to do what we can with what we have.
So today, my husband went to some of the elderly in our community and performed maintenance for them - clearing guttering on houses. He worked long, hard hours. He came home dirty (and he has no deoderant left and we have no money to buy him any LOL) and feeling physically tired but spiritually alive. We have begun!
The hard part is trying to get across to people that what we are doing is free, but realising that sometimes God will provide what we need through these people. So from one house he came home with a bag of apples off her tree, and from the other, nothing. Both are equally welcomed.
While husband dearest was out I spent the day making things with our newly provided goods from the family that came yesterday. I made fruit bread, fudge cake, and muesli. That used up portions of the sugar, flour, eggs, and dried fruit they brought with them. I think I've about done my cooking dash for today, just the dinner left to do, which is rationed servings of fish and vegetables. I'm cooking extra veggies to give to Wag (the dog) tomorrow since we've now used the last of the dog biscuits. There was also the washing to do and I got some photos processed and uploaded to a stock photo site.
We have needs, particularly for the animals, but believe God to provide for them also. Tomorrow is a new day full of wonderful possibilities. As the night draws in, my mind turns to spending time with God. It seems a long time since this morning when I sat cradled in His hand. I think it is time to feel His arms around me again so He can continue keeping me strong and faithful.
Backstory
I had to think long and hard about where to start this blog. The story started some time ago and I feel some of the backstory is needed before I move on into the daily journey from this point.
I have known the Lord all my life. I was raised in a Christian household and continued my walk with God into my adult life, developing a personal relationship with Christ. My life I could consider one of comfort, since I have never really lacked for anything, yet it was one punctuated by deaths, injuries and health issues. My father passed away when I was 12, and my 1st husband the day before my 25th birthday. There has been many opportunities for me to develop a reliance on God to pull me through life's tough times.
In March 1999 I married my second husband, and this past weekend we celebrated our 11th wedding anniversary. For most of our married life I have been privileged to be a stay-at-home wife, doing things I love - crafty things. There were times I did work outside the home - as a preschool relief teacher and then data input for a museum. My husband, meanwhile, was working his way through the ranks from the bottom to a managerial position. Over 18 years for the same company.
We served in our church in whatever way we could, even as we sought for something more. We completed a Certificate in Applied Theology in 2003. We looked to prophecies said over us that inspired, encouraged, and sometimes, confused us. All the time we were doing/serving, we were looking for our place, our calling, i.e. something more.
In March 2008 we turned our thoughts toward opening a retail outlet selling things we had both created. Besides my two biggest creative passions - writing and photography - I indulge in numerous other crafts. My husband makes jewellery and carvings from NZ greenstone, semi-precious stones, and shell. The prospect excited us, yet we could see no way forward at that time. Though we had enough finances to live comfortably, we needed the paid work to support our mortgage and to live off. We had no savings of any kind.
A year later, on the 13th March 2009, we were enjoying a night at a hotel for our 10th wedding anniversary. That is when the real story begins.
God inspired us. I simply cannot express here what He gave us. It is still 'in secret'. What I can say is that it is far bigger than anything we could have imagined on our own. It is complex, involving many branches. It is incredibly detailed, even down to the small stuff. What was conceived that night was not from our own minds or hearts, but our hearts and minds in accord with God's plan and purpose for our lives. At last He had told us what we were working towards and we found it summed up in Isaiah 49, the Scripture He laid on our hearts at the same time.
We came home, fired up and totally sold upon the Lord's plan. We drew up a draft business plan, drawing continual inspiration from Him. The plan requires money beyond our comprehension, and we waited eagerly each day for His provision to begin the work.
Towards the end of 2009, we were still locked in the same routine, but with the hope of a future designed and secured by the Lord. We began to see that the things we were so busy doing (serving in good roles) was a hindrance to progress. While our life was full of secular work and 'things', there was no room for growth or new endeavours. We made a difficult decision to step back from all areas of service at our church. We knew God was telling us to do so, but it was hard to let go of those areas we had poured so much time and effort into. We met with our Pastors to speak with them about it and found had already gone before us and spoken to them about us needing to remove ourselves from service. So a few days before Christmas, we performed our last official church duty by planning, and running the Christmas Celebration service.
Still we waited upon the Lord...
Then came the time which we had long hoped for, and in a way we had not anticipated.
We were waiting upon God's provision so my husband could leave his job and enable us to move into our destiny. We had by this time appointed 5 board members of an, as yet, non-existant company. We had a farm manager (unpaid and with no farm). We had a draft business plan and a heart bursting to move forward.
But ... I began to feel that things were too easy. It was too easy waiting on God to provide the money. Though it had required faith to believe God's Word and run as far as we could, we'd reached a point of comfort. We could do nothing until God moved, so it was SAFE! Too safe. I talked to God about it and then asked my husband if he had any thoughts about it being too easy, too safe. He didn't, so I didn't share the thought that was growing inside me. It was time for him to leave his job, regardless of having no money. I asked God, "Lord, is this all too easy. Do we need to make a leap of faith?"I sat on it.
Then one day only a couple of weeks later, my husband shared that God had told him when his last day at work would be. Without telling anyone the date, he asked me to pray and get the date from God and by this he would know it was right. He also asked our farm manager for her to seek God and supply his resignation date (i.e. the date he'd hand in his resignation and not the actual leaving day). Her date confirmed his date. I however, spent a sleepless 2 nights stressing and not seeming to receive any answer. I was exhausted emotionally and physically. In the end I gave him a date plucked from my head, as that was the only thing I could do. It was not the right one - and I knew it was not, but such was my state by this stage. That afternoon I got before the Lord and cried out, but this time I changed my question. Before I had prayed, "Lord, what date is it?" Now I prayed, "Lord, if the date he has is of you, give me the peace that passes all understanding."
Immediately it came as a flood. Peace: warm, restorative, bringing back with it hope, energy and life. I knew the answer was yes, and once I understood that He brought to remembrance my questions of Him earlier - "Lord, is this all too easy. Do we need to make a leap of faith?" You see the right question has to be asked sometimes. My husband's word from the Lord and the confirmation from our farm manager were an answer to my prayer, only I did not see that until God showed me the connection at a time when He was my only hope out of a very stressful situation.
So on the 22nd of January, the resignation was handed in (the date God supplied to the farm manager). On Friday the 19th of February (21st February was the date given to my husband- a Sunday) was his last day working for the secular world.
For the first couple of weeks we didn't notice anything. He was home and our routine was definitely changed, but it felt like a holiday. The money paid out from his accrued holidays kept us financially unchanged. Then he went back to do some consulting work for the company and we received some more money, topped up by a photography job I did. We were still comfortable.
I perhaps should have mentioned before, but will include it now, that our household consists of 3 adults (none with a regular job), 3 cats, a dog, and a rabbit. Our major financial needs are paying for food for everyone, the mortgage, the swimming pool, power and telephone. We now have not enough fuel to drive anywhere, except maybe one more trip to church.
Anyway... we were comfortable, until last week. The money was all gone, apart from $4-something in our bank account. The mortgage payment was due, and is not paid as of today (when another payment is due). The pool payment was taken out, leaving our account in the red. We managed to find enough coins between the three of us to buy a loaf of bread and some milk. As part of our days, we're cleaning up around the place and getting rid of stuff that's not needed. One of the items we were offered $10 for, so we could afford to get some margarine, milk and bread.
To many this would seem irresponsible ... ludicrous. And to us it would seem so too, if it weren't that we knew God required this of us. That is our sustenance - the Word of the Lord. He is our peace. There is no fear over what might happen or what we stand to lose if we're wrong. There is nothing but a perfect peace that we are exactly where we are supposed to be, doing what we're supposed to be doing. Every word spoken at Church, and every song sung, every person we talk to (very few people know as we do not want them to worry, knowing it is our faith, not theirs) has supported everything from March 13th 2009 to today, 15th March 2010.
Sunday - last night - we were blessed mightily. A family arrived with bags and bags of food, including treats like chocolate. The provision was a true Godsend. It leaves gaps, for sure. We need money to pay bills and food for the animals. Yet we are blessed and blessed mightily. God has already begun His great provision!
So that's it up until this morning. Future entries are likely to be not so long. If you've read this far, I congratulate you - and thank you for your patience and willingness to read my scribbles. My wish is that this will be a testimony to the unfailing grace of our Lord Jesus Christ and the Everlasting Father.
This is not a story about struggles, though the message of God's redeeming grace will be shared through them. It is not a story about provision or plenty, though that will certainly be shared to demonstrate God's love and compassion on His people. It is a story of learning to trust in God completely, giving Him everything we have and everything we are, and then being obedient in all He has for us to do. May you find some blessing for your own life within the story that I am now having the privilege of living.
Belinda
I have known the Lord all my life. I was raised in a Christian household and continued my walk with God into my adult life, developing a personal relationship with Christ. My life I could consider one of comfort, since I have never really lacked for anything, yet it was one punctuated by deaths, injuries and health issues. My father passed away when I was 12, and my 1st husband the day before my 25th birthday. There has been many opportunities for me to develop a reliance on God to pull me through life's tough times.
In March 1999 I married my second husband, and this past weekend we celebrated our 11th wedding anniversary. For most of our married life I have been privileged to be a stay-at-home wife, doing things I love - crafty things. There were times I did work outside the home - as a preschool relief teacher and then data input for a museum. My husband, meanwhile, was working his way through the ranks from the bottom to a managerial position. Over 18 years for the same company.
We served in our church in whatever way we could, even as we sought for something more. We completed a Certificate in Applied Theology in 2003. We looked to prophecies said over us that inspired, encouraged, and sometimes, confused us. All the time we were doing/serving, we were looking for our place, our calling, i.e. something more.
In March 2008 we turned our thoughts toward opening a retail outlet selling things we had both created. Besides my two biggest creative passions - writing and photography - I indulge in numerous other crafts. My husband makes jewellery and carvings from NZ greenstone, semi-precious stones, and shell. The prospect excited us, yet we could see no way forward at that time. Though we had enough finances to live comfortably, we needed the paid work to support our mortgage and to live off. We had no savings of any kind.
A year later, on the 13th March 2009, we were enjoying a night at a hotel for our 10th wedding anniversary. That is when the real story begins.
God inspired us. I simply cannot express here what He gave us. It is still 'in secret'. What I can say is that it is far bigger than anything we could have imagined on our own. It is complex, involving many branches. It is incredibly detailed, even down to the small stuff. What was conceived that night was not from our own minds or hearts, but our hearts and minds in accord with God's plan and purpose for our lives. At last He had told us what we were working towards and we found it summed up in Isaiah 49, the Scripture He laid on our hearts at the same time.
We came home, fired up and totally sold upon the Lord's plan. We drew up a draft business plan, drawing continual inspiration from Him. The plan requires money beyond our comprehension, and we waited eagerly each day for His provision to begin the work.
Towards the end of 2009, we were still locked in the same routine, but with the hope of a future designed and secured by the Lord. We began to see that the things we were so busy doing (serving in good roles) was a hindrance to progress. While our life was full of secular work and 'things', there was no room for growth or new endeavours. We made a difficult decision to step back from all areas of service at our church. We knew God was telling us to do so, but it was hard to let go of those areas we had poured so much time and effort into. We met with our Pastors to speak with them about it and found had already gone before us and spoken to them about us needing to remove ourselves from service. So a few days before Christmas, we performed our last official church duty by planning, and running the Christmas Celebration service.
Still we waited upon the Lord...
Then came the time which we had long hoped for, and in a way we had not anticipated.
We were waiting upon God's provision so my husband could leave his job and enable us to move into our destiny. We had by this time appointed 5 board members of an, as yet, non-existant company. We had a farm manager (unpaid and with no farm). We had a draft business plan and a heart bursting to move forward.
But ... I began to feel that things were too easy. It was too easy waiting on God to provide the money. Though it had required faith to believe God's Word and run as far as we could, we'd reached a point of comfort. We could do nothing until God moved, so it was SAFE! Too safe. I talked to God about it and then asked my husband if he had any thoughts about it being too easy, too safe. He didn't, so I didn't share the thought that was growing inside me. It was time for him to leave his job, regardless of having no money. I asked God, "Lord, is this all too easy. Do we need to make a leap of faith?"I sat on it.
Then one day only a couple of weeks later, my husband shared that God had told him when his last day at work would be. Without telling anyone the date, he asked me to pray and get the date from God and by this he would know it was right. He also asked our farm manager for her to seek God and supply his resignation date (i.e. the date he'd hand in his resignation and not the actual leaving day). Her date confirmed his date. I however, spent a sleepless 2 nights stressing and not seeming to receive any answer. I was exhausted emotionally and physically. In the end I gave him a date plucked from my head, as that was the only thing I could do. It was not the right one - and I knew it was not, but such was my state by this stage. That afternoon I got before the Lord and cried out, but this time I changed my question. Before I had prayed, "Lord, what date is it?" Now I prayed, "Lord, if the date he has is of you, give me the peace that passes all understanding."
Immediately it came as a flood. Peace: warm, restorative, bringing back with it hope, energy and life. I knew the answer was yes, and once I understood that He brought to remembrance my questions of Him earlier - "Lord, is this all too easy. Do we need to make a leap of faith?" You see the right question has to be asked sometimes. My husband's word from the Lord and the confirmation from our farm manager were an answer to my prayer, only I did not see that until God showed me the connection at a time when He was my only hope out of a very stressful situation.
So on the 22nd of January, the resignation was handed in (the date God supplied to the farm manager). On Friday the 19th of February (21st February was the date given to my husband- a Sunday) was his last day working for the secular world.
For the first couple of weeks we didn't notice anything. He was home and our routine was definitely changed, but it felt like a holiday. The money paid out from his accrued holidays kept us financially unchanged. Then he went back to do some consulting work for the company and we received some more money, topped up by a photography job I did. We were still comfortable.
I perhaps should have mentioned before, but will include it now, that our household consists of 3 adults (none with a regular job), 3 cats, a dog, and a rabbit. Our major financial needs are paying for food for everyone, the mortgage, the swimming pool, power and telephone. We now have not enough fuel to drive anywhere, except maybe one more trip to church.
Anyway... we were comfortable, until last week. The money was all gone, apart from $4-something in our bank account. The mortgage payment was due, and is not paid as of today (when another payment is due). The pool payment was taken out, leaving our account in the red. We managed to find enough coins between the three of us to buy a loaf of bread and some milk. As part of our days, we're cleaning up around the place and getting rid of stuff that's not needed. One of the items we were offered $10 for, so we could afford to get some margarine, milk and bread.
To many this would seem irresponsible ... ludicrous. And to us it would seem so too, if it weren't that we knew God required this of us. That is our sustenance - the Word of the Lord. He is our peace. There is no fear over what might happen or what we stand to lose if we're wrong. There is nothing but a perfect peace that we are exactly where we are supposed to be, doing what we're supposed to be doing. Every word spoken at Church, and every song sung, every person we talk to (very few people know as we do not want them to worry, knowing it is our faith, not theirs) has supported everything from March 13th 2009 to today, 15th March 2010.
Sunday - last night - we were blessed mightily. A family arrived with bags and bags of food, including treats like chocolate. The provision was a true Godsend. It leaves gaps, for sure. We need money to pay bills and food for the animals. Yet we are blessed and blessed mightily. God has already begun His great provision!
So that's it up until this morning. Future entries are likely to be not so long. If you've read this far, I congratulate you - and thank you for your patience and willingness to read my scribbles. My wish is that this will be a testimony to the unfailing grace of our Lord Jesus Christ and the Everlasting Father.
This is not a story about struggles, though the message of God's redeeming grace will be shared through them. It is not a story about provision or plenty, though that will certainly be shared to demonstrate God's love and compassion on His people. It is a story of learning to trust in God completely, giving Him everything we have and everything we are, and then being obedient in all He has for us to do. May you find some blessing for your own life within the story that I am now having the privilege of living.
Belinda
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