Holy Rollercoasters

I knew that things would not be simple. It would have been naive to believe so. However, one can never be quite prepared for reality until they are facing it down the centreline with a pit of angry alligators on one side and a sheer cliff raining down rocks and dirt on the other.

We know we are going through a testing time. A time to test our faith - our belief and steadfastness to what we know as true - and a time of developing patience. Believe me, I feel more like a patient. A headcold, which has been bothering me for around 3 weeks and steadily getting worse, not better, does not help improve my sanity. Nor does interrupted and short on sleep due to a nose that is simultaneously blocked and running. Go figure!

A couple of days ago I was crying, tears and all, out to God. I told Him it was all too hard. There are easier ways to live one's life than waiting on God, but we are answering the call on our lives no matter what. Having spent a miserable day of fear and worry, tears and complete grumpiness, I became a little worried about whether I was being unfaithful (and knowing I was definitely unattractive to co-habitat with).

Here is where the beauty of the Lord lies. In my daily Bible reading this morning He revealed to me the difference between the way the Israelites acted after their exodus from Egypt and what I did. Their attitude was one of "contempt" (Numbers Ch 14). When things got rough they looked to false gods and idols (eg. the golden calf), or desired to return to captivity where they knew the rules. Crying out to God is the complete opposite. It turns to Him, not away. It asks Him to take over, not rejecting His love and His will.

In short - Trust God and believe His word, thus relying on Him. Or reject what we've already seen Him do and rely on man's efforts.

We continue to wait upon the Lord, doing our darnedest to stay sane, praising Him in all situations and believing for our future. We pray for a short wait, but however long it is, we're committed.

Another little piece of my reading this morning -
In this you greatly rejoice, though now for a little while you may have had to suffer grief in all kinds of trials. These have come so that your faith -- of greater worth than gold, which perishes even though refined by fire -- may be proved genuine and may result in praise, glory and honour when Jesus Christ is revealed.
1 Peter 1:6-7