Tough Times

I have deliberately been neglectful of this blog for the last few days, contending with my thoughts and how I want to express them - or rather, how the Lord would have me express them.

I am left with the uncomfortable truth that I must first profess the tough times in order for the answers I received to have meaning.

As I have mentioned before, our mortgage payments are now behind. Financial pressures are never fun, but try facing them when you have no money and EVERYTHING to lose. Everything, except God, that is. What we experienced for a day and a half was quite awful. That dread feeling of wondering what's going on, feeling out of control, and yet, somehow - knowing that it's all part of the process. The biggest question before us was whether or not to take out a mortgage repayment holiday for 3 months (trying to do it in our strength), or let our faith hold true to God's promise for His provision. The other option was to go out immediately into the world and get jobs.

Husband and I faced the fear together and proclaimed the promises of God over our lives and asking God's will.  We read various passages in the Bible prompted by Him. The whole of Psalm 46, but particularly verse 5; Psalm 30:5; Philippians 3:7-9; and Ephesians 3:14-21. There was a strong message of a new morning, a new dawn, accompanied by visions. We still believed that a repayment holiday was not the way to go, but we NEEDED to know God's will. It would be so easy to make a wrong turn. That was Tuesday afternoon.

Wednesday morning was more peaceful, having been encouraged by the Spirit and supported in prayer and fellowship by a dear, sweet sister. After lunch on Wednesday we again spent time calling upon God to come through for us in this situation. We were prepared to go right then and get work if that was His plan. I said I would do whatever He wanted. So my Lord asked me to fast, and I willingly agreed to - for only the 2nd time in my life. So I announced it to my husband and friend who joined me in it. Thank you! :)

"Woohoo," I cried. "I get a night off from cooking. Now, that's one way to ration the food." LOL

I can only faintly give a sense of what happened on Wednesday afternoon as it was an experience totally in God and of God. From about 1.30pm to 8.30pm that night we prayed, praised with song and in tongues, we worshipped and adored Him. And He answered. The peace that passes all understanding returned in greater measure than ever before. He affirmed His promises of provision and reminded us that we had been provided for every day. Some days, as in my earlier posts, it has been food. Another day it was a $200 deposit into our bank account with the reference "Surprise" and $20 arriving through the post. God has truly blessed us.

During this time of fasting and worship, God granted my husband and I  separate visions. He saw Jesus standing on a mountain top commanding angels to go take care of needs ... sending them this way and that according to the specific task each was given by Him. My vision was of Jesus standing on a cliff over the sea, and He was directing the white-crested waves much like Mickey Mouse does in The Sorceror's Apprentice. The two were definitely the same message. We completely understood God was in control of everything and was exercising His power at that very moment.

He clearly made known His will, and we are fully, 100%, awaiting His provision to meet every one of our needs. To God be the Glory!

We also understand that this time was necessary.

How easy is it to have faith when everything is going well?

What about faith when nothing is in your control and you have no choice but to leave it in God's hands? It's harder, but there is freedom and release in knowing there is no way for you to change things.

Now try having faith in a situation where you DO have the power to change circumstances and yet God is telling you not to. This has been our true test of faith.

The time is up to Him - we only know it will be the perfect time. We do know it's not far away now.

Keep watching this space...